#4 was so relatable for me. I often try to qualify a person's compliment (at least in my head, if not aloud) by explaining what went wrong, too. A lot of this is based on the fact that I was told, quite often, at a young age that people outside my family didn't "really" know me. Every time I was proud of an accomplishment as a kid, my family would tell me, "Well, pride is a sin." So I learned to be "humble" (e.g., false humility) by disqualifying my true gifts. I am working on this.
You know, your aliveness project feels a lot like what my friend Mansi does in her everyday life, especially when you mentioned complimenting the way the barista at Starbucks signed her name. Mansi carries dozens of handmade tokens (they look a lot like bookmarks) everywhere she goes. And spontaneously, she will hand them out to people, first asking how they spell their name. She has inspirational messages on each one that she's handwritten, too. And, of course, plenty of heartwarming stories to go with these!
Thank you for being here and trusting me with something so tender. I’m so sorry you grew up hearing pride was a sin; that’s such a heavy message to carry. Although I can relate...the religious trauma is real. I see the courage it takes for you to be working on embracing your true gifts, and I want you to know you absolutely deserve to celebrate yourself without disqualification. We get to rewrite those old stories, my friend. You are amazing. For so many things. Just call me up any time and I will list all of the numerous reasons why I think so. And that list is LONG. Just so you know.
And I love hearing about Mansi and her beautiful, heartfelt way of spreading kindness; that spontaneous giving of handmade tokens feels like a gentle rebellion against the world’s rush, a gift of presence and connection. It fills my heart to know the aliveness project echoes that spirit for you. I love it!
I’m so grateful you’re here and sharing this part of your journey with me. 🩵 And thank you for always being such a beautiful supporter for me. Your comments always make me feel so supported and cared for.
Alex, I think you are one of the best humans I’ve ever met. And I have pretty high standards. ;) So I mean it 100%.
Thank you, always, for being a person of integrity. And honesty. And kindness.
I love the phrase “gentle rebellion against the world's rush.” It’s paradoxical but powerful.
It will be so great to connect back with you in the next couple of weeks about a possible collaboration! So grateful to have you in my corner and to call you friend.
Alex!!! Your writings even about the mundane (but crucial) events of life tugs the heartstrings. And even though I was trying to be as present while reading, there was a wave of memories and emotions washing through.
I remembered how tired I used to be. With everyone running all the time. Trying to capture stuff on the phone instead of trying to be in the moment. Walking everywhere with earphones on. All the time. Everyone's running but no one knows where really.
It was fundamentally against who I am. But somehow I had entered the race, which did nothing but exhaust and irritate me lol.
As the years have passed by, I've started to remember my core. Kindness and human connection is everything isn't it? Opening the door for someone. Smiling. Saying hello. Asking about breakfast. Going on random rides. Tipping the waiter more than expected. Observing the different kinds of leaves and flowers. Listening to bird sounds. Going to every relative's function (the ones you like) to be truly there for them. Nights with friends.
That's what life should be about isn't it? At least for me. So much love, kindness, and abundance of every form.
I ended up writing a mini essay here lol. But eeeehhh...it's okay! I hope:)
This is a thought-provoking read. So much resonated with me: the thinking of excuses instead of being authentic. I am one of those people who used to downplay my performance, whether it be a poem I wrote that people praised or adoring an outfit I'm wearing. I used to deflect the kind words: "Yes, but my last paragraph was problematic."
"You can’t hack your way into spontaneity." There are many quotables in your essay, but this is the one that resonated the most with me.. I'm an organized person -- with a daily to-do list and my calendar. I must plan because chemo negatively affected my brain. Trying to be spontaneous isn't really spontaneity at all.
Alex... thanks again for putting into words awarenesses that open me up to being Alive in the best sense of that word...
The highlights for me:
"Aliveness isn’t individual work. It’s collaborative resistance against our own optimization reflexes." And..."Plan for space, but don’t plan what fills the space."
As someone who likes/loves my alone time, I see how often that keeps me isolated and spinning around in my own head... coming out of my "comfort zone" by inviting a friend to get together without a Plan is a great idea.
"Your aliveness doesn’t need your management. It just needs your willingness to stop interrupting it." Indeed...
We've been programmed to plan, plan, plan and if our planners aren't filled up, we aren't, or won't be, accomplishing enough. Crazy.
"Plan for space, but don’t plan what fills the space." Now that is a different way to look at planning/not planning. Making room for spontaneity but not figuring out the details beforehand makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps this all comes to down to overthinking everything. Husband and I are great overthinkers. Overthinking can cause us to miss out on what's right in front of us.
This week I'm going to try to catch myself in those "almost" moments. Thank you for the thoughtful read.
Hi Alex,
#4 was so relatable for me. I often try to qualify a person's compliment (at least in my head, if not aloud) by explaining what went wrong, too. A lot of this is based on the fact that I was told, quite often, at a young age that people outside my family didn't "really" know me. Every time I was proud of an accomplishment as a kid, my family would tell me, "Well, pride is a sin." So I learned to be "humble" (e.g., false humility) by disqualifying my true gifts. I am working on this.
You know, your aliveness project feels a lot like what my friend Mansi does in her everyday life, especially when you mentioned complimenting the way the barista at Starbucks signed her name. Mansi carries dozens of handmade tokens (they look a lot like bookmarks) everywhere she goes. And spontaneously, she will hand them out to people, first asking how they spell their name. She has inspirational messages on each one that she's handwritten, too. And, of course, plenty of heartwarming stories to go with these!
Thank you for being here and trusting me with something so tender. I’m so sorry you grew up hearing pride was a sin; that’s such a heavy message to carry. Although I can relate...the religious trauma is real. I see the courage it takes for you to be working on embracing your true gifts, and I want you to know you absolutely deserve to celebrate yourself without disqualification. We get to rewrite those old stories, my friend. You are amazing. For so many things. Just call me up any time and I will list all of the numerous reasons why I think so. And that list is LONG. Just so you know.
And I love hearing about Mansi and her beautiful, heartfelt way of spreading kindness; that spontaneous giving of handmade tokens feels like a gentle rebellion against the world’s rush, a gift of presence and connection. It fills my heart to know the aliveness project echoes that spirit for you. I love it!
I’m so grateful you’re here and sharing this part of your journey with me. 🩵 And thank you for always being such a beautiful supporter for me. Your comments always make me feel so supported and cared for.
Alex, I think you are one of the best humans I’ve ever met. And I have pretty high standards. ;) So I mean it 100%.
Thank you, always, for being a person of integrity. And honesty. And kindness.
I love the phrase “gentle rebellion against the world's rush.” It’s paradoxical but powerful.
It will be so great to connect back with you in the next couple of weeks about a possible collaboration! So grateful to have you in my corner and to call you friend.
I am so grateful that you are in my world and life.I sure hear everything you have shared here.Please keep shining🌟❤️.
Oh, my friend, your words truly touched my heart Thank you for being here and for sharing that beautiful gratitude, it means the world to me.
Alex!!! Your writings even about the mundane (but crucial) events of life tugs the heartstrings. And even though I was trying to be as present while reading, there was a wave of memories and emotions washing through.
I remembered how tired I used to be. With everyone running all the time. Trying to capture stuff on the phone instead of trying to be in the moment. Walking everywhere with earphones on. All the time. Everyone's running but no one knows where really.
It was fundamentally against who I am. But somehow I had entered the race, which did nothing but exhaust and irritate me lol.
As the years have passed by, I've started to remember my core. Kindness and human connection is everything isn't it? Opening the door for someone. Smiling. Saying hello. Asking about breakfast. Going on random rides. Tipping the waiter more than expected. Observing the different kinds of leaves and flowers. Listening to bird sounds. Going to every relative's function (the ones you like) to be truly there for them. Nights with friends.
That's what life should be about isn't it? At least for me. So much love, kindness, and abundance of every form.
I ended up writing a mini essay here lol. But eeeehhh...it's okay! I hope:)
Hi Alex,
This is a thought-provoking read. So much resonated with me: the thinking of excuses instead of being authentic. I am one of those people who used to downplay my performance, whether it be a poem I wrote that people praised or adoring an outfit I'm wearing. I used to deflect the kind words: "Yes, but my last paragraph was problematic."
"You can’t hack your way into spontaneity." There are many quotables in your essay, but this is the one that resonated the most with me.. I'm an organized person -- with a daily to-do list and my calendar. I must plan because chemo negatively affected my brain. Trying to be spontaneous isn't really spontaneity at all.
Thank you for your insightful essay.
Alex, You're really challneging me! I LOVE structure. My ex-husband was the spontaneous one and I did go along. We'll see if I can manage this!
Alex... thanks again for putting into words awarenesses that open me up to being Alive in the best sense of that word...
The highlights for me:
"Aliveness isn’t individual work. It’s collaborative resistance against our own optimization reflexes." And..."Plan for space, but don’t plan what fills the space."
As someone who likes/loves my alone time, I see how often that keeps me isolated and spinning around in my own head... coming out of my "comfort zone" by inviting a friend to get together without a Plan is a great idea.
"Your aliveness doesn’t need your management. It just needs your willingness to stop interrupting it." Indeed...
Hi Alex,
We've been programmed to plan, plan, plan and if our planners aren't filled up, we aren't, or won't be, accomplishing enough. Crazy.
"Plan for space, but don’t plan what fills the space." Now that is a different way to look at planning/not planning. Making room for spontaneity but not figuring out the details beforehand makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps this all comes to down to overthinking everything. Husband and I are great overthinkers. Overthinking can cause us to miss out on what's right in front of us.
This week I'm going to try to catch myself in those "almost" moments. Thank you for the thoughtful read.
Less control, more trust
for true present aliveness.
The life we long for.