31 Comments
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Lucy Squire's avatar

Looking forward to answering these Alex 🙏

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

My hope is that even just one will help you see your year, just a little differently! I hope you had a wonderful year, Lucy!

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Kateri Ewing's avatar

I really relate to many things here, including the ADHD dopamine roller coaster of impulsive spending. Mostly I feel a softening in what you wrote here. It’s a good word for me, softening.

Thanks, Alex. And many wishes for a resilient new year. ✨

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, Kateri, for reading and relating. I think softening is a word I would apply, too. It is so interesting that softening has led to a sense of... hmmm... liberation? Of being truly myself.

I hope you have a new year full of delight, rest, and success (however you define it) 🩵

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Francisca Diamond Casais's avatar

Love love love these questions! I too, have a different take on resolutions and year in reviews, I also posted about it today after a weeks long introspection (and rant?) about it. I love the different questions you make us ask yourselves! I found you through KISS’ curation from Dare to Fail, and I’m glad I did! Happy new year, Alexander!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you for sharing! I’ll take a look!

Definitely introspection 🩵

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Alicia M. Rodriguez's avatar

It’s so refreshing to see your questions, not the typical goal setting ones we see at this time of year. Going deeper into reflection surfaces the stuff that drives us but remains unseen, keeping us like unwitting hamsters on a wheel. I’ll be sitting with your questions today. Thank you.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

YES! I so agree and I love that perspective. I have found that retrospectives give me the space for what went right in a year and how I did it, so I can carry those strengths into the new year! Thank you for reading, and Happy New Year!

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Sonaakshi's avatar

What a beautifully raw and heartfelt reflection! Your approach to ending the year with these unconventional questions feels so refreshing—it's a reminder to truly sit with the moments, emotions, and lessons that define our journey. I especially resonated with the part about saying goodbye to the belief that strength means hiding vulnerability; there's so much power in allowing ourselves to feel deeply and authentically.

The question prompts you shared invite such meaningful introspection, and I can't wait to try them out myself. Thank you for the reminder that growth often comes from embracing our messiest moments and that we don’t need all the answers to keep moving forward. This was exactly the perspective shift I needed today!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you! I'm so glad these resonated with you.

THIS!!! "There's so much power in allowing ourselves to feel deeply and authentically." So much this.

I hope you have a delightful 2025 🩵

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Ian Haycroft's avatar

Thank you Alexander...such great...painful...wonderful...to the point...questions. It says a lot about living that we can ask these kind of questions every year and dig deep. Thank you.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you for being here and reading them! I hope they prompt a different perspective on 2024. 🩵

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Gayle Beavil's avatar

These are great! My husband and I always ask each other these types of questions on Christmas Eve, and we will use these! These are a little different and will spark great reflection!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Oh that makes me so happy! What a wonderful tradition 🩵

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Kathy Napoli's avatar

Reading your new perspective is just as good if not better than your other one. I cannot get the picture of you kneeling by your truck out of my head. You allow me to see how far you have come and how amazing your insight really is. You give me hope that it’s possible to accept the “messy”. I realize that my words may sound like salad but they aren’t. I am truly grateful for discovering your publication, your real life experiences that you share allows me to see who you are. I am grateful. To be able to overcome some things in your life might be challenging but you show us it can be accomplished if not perfect but at least manageable. I gain a different perspective from your writing. Thank you for sharing these questions to ask ourselves Alex. They are real and useful. Hoping your New Year ahead is the best one yet for you do deserve good things in your life.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

You deserve good things in 2025 too! We will be there, together! It is possible to accept the messy… but it can certainly be hard. I’m grateful that you are here. I’ve loved to get to know you too. I wish you a 2025 full of delight. 🩵

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Teri Leigh 💜's avatar

First off, I LOVE the new name and new logo for your publication. So fun! and so much more how I see S👀 you!

Secondly, these questions, and your introspective answers are amazing! I just ordered my 2025 journal and as soon as it arrives, this will be the first entry, dated 12/31/24.

funny, as I read through your answers I thought to myself "yup, me too" in almost every one of them. Seems we had mirror years in different ways.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you! I really love the 👀 😂. They really are me, because I’m very tongue-in-cheek.

I’m glad you enjoyed them! I hope they help people in general to see their year, just a little differently.

And, if we just had a mirror year, then I hope you know that you are cared for, and that growth is both challenging and rewarding. Because we can get through hard things, and it makes it all the more worth it. 🩵

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Teri Leigh 💜's avatar

My new journal just arrived yesterday! So I’m starting on these today!

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Alex,

I have many of the same personality traits you describe in yourself, especially the recovering perfectionist. I have to say, I'm impressed with this list of questions (how did you come up with them) and I continue to marvel at how you've built your life. The part about rebuilding your finances and setting goals, despite the dopamine rush of spending, really astounds me.

I admire you.

You're doing incredible things just by being you and showing up in a way that reflects your true self. I've learned that's what people want, anyway: an encounter with another human who allows themselves to be imperfect, messy (the pie looks fabulous), emotional, quirky, sometimes sick and lonely and exhausted and broken, too.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, my friend. Your comment here means so much. I think there are many traits that we share. It is why, when I read your work, it resonates so much. I can relate, even if we are not going through the same experiences. I admire you, too.

This year has been hard. It has forced me to get “real” with a lot of things, and most importantly, it’s forced me to get real with myself. No more hiding. And I’ve been grateful that I started writing here.

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Last year, I made a commitment to honor the truth of my life, including unearthing my past, and I knew this would be difficult. But I also knew I was ready.

For most of my life, I'd experienced a recurring nightmare, in which I was being chased by a dark figure. Sometimes it would catch me, sometimes I could hide from it. But I realized that this was not healthy and likely signified some type of trauma I had not dealt with, nor known about.

It was a huge leap for me to step outside of the conventions of my upbringing and the conservative iterations of my religion. But somatic therapy has been incredibly powerful for me: EMDR, myofascial release, psilocybin.

I have always been susceptible to touching the supernatural, meaning, I have always experienced symbolic dreams and mystical visions.

As weird as that may seem, it's how I returned to myself, my true essence. It's how I honored that hard path of facing the things that have happened to me and that have broken me.

I tell you this because I believe in you and in what you are doing to reveal and share your authentic self. It shows in what you write and how you show up.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

I had a recurring nightmare that would happen at 2:00AM every morning. It would wake me up, and was present for 15 years or so. It is so interesting how the brain communicates with us that something still needs to be processed. For me, Yoga was my first therapeutic intervention. It helped me feel safe in my body again, it helped me begin to feel again. Next came lots of EMDR and eventually ketamine, which was truly life changing.

Now I can be my authentic self without fear of reprisal, because I don’t care to do it any other way 🩵

Thank you for sharing your journey with me. I am so heartened that you have been able to make so much progress. I love how you put it - “I made a commitment to honor the truth of my life.” Chills.

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

It's good to hear that you've experienced healing in somatic therapies, too, Alex. Also weird that the recurring nightmare does, in fact, seem to be the subconscious's way of communicating something that has been stored in our bodies.

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

I feel really alive when I prick my finger in the morning to test my blood sugar. That one dot of blood is proof that I'm still here and that I have little control over my body and its processes. I try to eat great, exercise, and live healthily, but the body has its own intelligence. It decides if I wake up, whether I'm hungry, or when I can sleep.

Intriguing questions, Dr. Alex!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you for sharing that, Ilona. That is a really interesting one! Every day, you get to experience that reminder in a small but meaningful way.

The body really does have its own intelligence!

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Nancy A's avatar

Such a great list! I will definitely be reflecting on these thoughts.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, Nancy! I hope even just one of them helps.

I hope you have a wonderful new year!

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Arman Khodadoost's avatar

these are some thought provoking questions Alex. thank you for sharing!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thanks, Arman! I'm glad you think so - this year was just such an unconventional year, I felt like I needed an unconventional set of questions to go with it. Haha!

I hope you have an awesome new year!

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Dr. M's avatar

Reeking of Internal Family Systems to me. Being true to all your selves. The managers, firefighters, and exiles. Giving them all a place. Getting your team (shit) together).

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