OMG, Smith's! The only other time I've heard of that grocery store was when Ben and I lived in New Mexico, Alex. The equivalent here in the Midwest is Kroger. :)
Anyway, that was a digression. I wanted to comment on your point about just allowing things to be as they are, without overexplaining or apologizing. That can be really tough for a lot of us, myself included. I think about how most of my life I have done both of these things in order to prevent or correct a misunderstanding that might exist between me and someone else, but as I've gotten older I have noticed that these (overexplaining and apologizing) were actually forms of the "fawn" trauma response. And also--I have a lot of people in my family of origin who are excellent at manipulation tactics: projection, gaslighting, blaming, deflecting, defending, criticizing, judging, rationalizing, etc.
When I'm in the situation you were in with the impatient people waiting for eggs or coffee, I do much as you did--I just let it go. I don't assume I was in the wrong. I try not to assume something negative about their character. The truth is, they don't know what I'm going through, and I don't know what they are going through.
These experiences are also the main reason I do my best when I am in public to not overreact or sigh or complain or do any sort of microaggressions (although I am sure I still sometimes falter in this). I do not want to project my own irritations onto some unassuming, innocent party over some ridiculous and inane situation--like picking out eggs!
There have been several times where others apologize to me if I say "excuse me" politely so that I can maneuver my cart around them. And I simply say, "Oh, you are totally fine!" And smile and move on. It seems like everyone is sitting on a razor's edge these days, thinking that we have to apologize for existing, for taking up space!
I have done this in the checkout lane, because I always have a HUGE cart filled with groceries to feed seven people. Inevitably, the person standing in line behind me either gawks/gapes or scowls and sighs. I notice it, and then I usually sheepishly apologize. That is, until recently. I think someone here on Substack advised me not to. They said I had every right to take up space, and that's true. I still smile when I make eye contact, even and especially with crabby people.
It seems to me that these small gestures of patience and kindness really can make a huge impact.
Hehe... Oh yes, kroger, smiths... yes all the same!
But Wowaza, you really captured so much here, my friend. That whole idea of overexplaining and apologizing as a “fawn” response hit me hard...it’s like we’ve been conditioned to shrink ourselves to keep the peace, especially around those tricky family dynamics you described. I love how you choose kindness in those grocery store moments, even when folks seem impatient or crabby. It’s such a beautiful way to hold space for yourself and others. And yes, owning your space with that big cart? Absolutely! You’ve got every right to fill it up and fill the world with your presence 🩵
I don't know why this egg story made me think of this situation, but they are similar.
We are staying with friends in Columbus OH area. When we arrived, they cooked us a fabulous homemade meal, shared a bottle of wine, and showed us to a guest bedroom suite complete with a massage chair. The next morning, we got up early to fresh made lattes, homemade breakfast, and the gave us wifi to work 4hrs in their home office.
Hobbit looked at me this morning and said, "so we just show up, they feed us, give us a bed, let us use those wifi, and even give us chair massages, and then we just leave?"
I told him "yup, this is friendship...they appreciate our presence."
and we would do the same for them.
I had to tell Hobbit that he is allowed to take up space too. sometimes people even like it when we do!
Your story about Hobbit and the kindness of your friends warmed my heart, my friend 🩵. That guest bedroom suite with a massage chair sounds like a little oasis of DELIGHT and care! It’s beautiful how you reminded Hobbit—and all of us—that just being there, taking up space, is enough and actually cherished. Friendship at its finest, filled with those little acts that say “You matter.” Sending you both so much love today (and always).
When i have situations that seem off to me, my rule is thumb is that we never know what someone else is going thru in that moment. They could have lost anything-job, partner/sppuse/child/home , have some one close in the hospital or worse. We have no idea, I usually give a pass. It's a life changing perspective & saves a lot of time in my head for better thoughts💜
I love how you put that. Giving others a pass because we truly have no clue what battles they’re facing is such a kind and freeing way to live. It’s amazing how that simple shift can open up space for more peace in our minds. Your perspective really honors the unseen struggles, and honestly, it’s a reminder we all need to revisit often 🩵 Thanks for sharing your thoughtful approach!
Good for you Alex! My whole life I have been the considerate one, always first to apologize, put myself in other’s shoes. What happened? I was always getting the dirty end of the stick. It took me many, many years to discover I was giving away my existence to everyone else. I am so thrilled you discovered yourself much earlier than I did and you are a great person who deserves to choose the way you want to live your life. I am truly happy for you! I also enjoy reading about your experiences through your personal voice. They interest me and I can envision each experience you relate vividly…. so, thank you Alex! ❤️🌼
Your journey really hits home for me, my friend. Being the one who always apologizes first and carries everyone else’s weight can feel so exhausting, like you’re fading into the background of your own life. It’s powerful that you recognized that and started reclaiming your existence—it’s never too late to choose yourself. I’m so touched that my stories resonate with you and paint a picture you can see so clearly. Thank you for sharing your heart 🩵
You just brilliantly put into words what I’ve been working toward for the last decade—getting comfortable with being *unpopular*. I cringe to think of the time I’ve spent trying to explain myself to people who had no real interest in hearing it. The freedom that comes with caring appropriately about others’ reactions is incredible. I love this post so much!!
Your journey over the last decade is so powerful, my friend. It’s wild how much energy we waste trying to explain ourselves to people who aren’t really listening, isn’t it? Finding that comfort in being unpopular feels like reclaiming a huge piece of yourself. I’m so glad this post spoke to you, and I'm really grateful you shared this with me 🩵 Keep leaning into that freedom!
While I am always in pursuit of kindnesses to share, I do believe there's a limit. I absolutely agree that a strangers reaction to a "perceived" slight, is not your responsibility. Period. The truth is, you could have opened the door, handed her the eggs and done 3 backflips and she probably would have reacted the same way. It probably had nothing whatsoever to do with you, except that you just happened to be getting eggs too. It's too draining and unnecessary to try to regulate everyone, when it's hard enough to regulate ourselves. I smile, I throw out a "have a nice day" sometimes just for effect, but I don't let it affect my day. Recovering People Pleaser, V.
Virg, your honesty about the limits of kindness really hits home. I love how you pointed out that sometimes people’s reactions have nothing to do with us. It is SUCH a freeing thought, ESPECIALLY when we’re trying so hard to be “good” to everyone. And recovering from people-pleasing? That takes real courage, my friend. Keep holding onto that balance; your smile and “have a nice day” vibe sounds just perfect 🩵
I love that, my friend. There’s a special kind of magic in holding a little mystery close, isn’t there? Thanks for this playful reminder to savor the fun in not spilling all the secrets. Muahaha. 🩵 right back at you!
This is gold. The letting go of being right, or being thought of in rightness, is a challenge that so many of us should take on. It's taken me a decade and counting, and I still learn little lessons throughout my days, seemingly insignificant moments like this one. Thanks for sharing your lesson so that we all can learn.
Your openness about this ongoing journey truly touches my heart, my friend. Those quiet, “seemingly insignificant” moments often pack the biggest punch in our growth, don’t they? Letting go of the need to be right is such a deep practice. Probably one that really humbles us and expands our compassion. I know it has humbled me... OVER and over. I’m grateful you shared your experience because it reminds me we’re all in this dance together. 🩵
This resonated with me so much. You are right: the person who gets offended when no legitimate offense is given has to work on themselves. How that woman in the grocery store wound up angry has everything to do with her and nothing to do with you.
I am at the point in my life where I don't have the energy to placate people. I mean, if ever I were rude, it's one thing. If it's just me being myself, that's another. I love when you say, "Every 'what I meant was...' is a withdrawal from your energy account. Every over-explanation is life force spent on managing someone else's interpretation of your basic human choices."
I use the I-have-only-so-much-energy-in-my-cup metaphor a lot because it's a good metaphor, and I don't have the energy to worry about what others think of me. I used to worry about it, but no more.
Thank you for your wonderfully insightful essay -- as always.
Your words really hit home, my friend. That energy cup metaphor is the golden metaphor of the day! Ittt’s amazing how freeing it is to stop pouring out your life force trying to manage how others see you. And yes, that woman in the grocery store? Her storm wasn’t my weather to carry. I love how you’ve embraced standing in your truth without apologizing for simply being yourself. Thank you for sharing this with me 🩵
I wonder why we so often feel the need to apologize when one is not needed. Do we want to error on the safe side, perhaps?
Your egg story reminds me of Cancer Land, and how so many Cancer Havers spend way too much energy trying to make others feel comfortable. The Invisible Committe of Other People's Comfort - that's a good one. I might have to borrow it sometime! For example, "Just stay positive" is something so often heard. I bet you heard it during your recovery, too. Perhaps it really means, or suggests anyway, something like: "It makes me uncomfortable to hear the gory details." It's why the many platitudes often loosely thrown around are not helpful to hear.
I do find myself saying "I'm sorry" when maneuvering my shopping cart at the grocery store instead of a simple, "excuse me". What is up with that apologizing anyway? I'm going to think about this the next time this happens!
I agree whole-heartedly that sometimes it's best to not expend too much energy explaining ourselves. We get to pick and choose who or what we want to expand our energy on. After all, both are precious commodities. Illness or no illness. Of course, this is never permission to be rude or unkind. But it is permission to worry less about justifying ourselves or what we do to others when it's not needed. Bottom line, if we are being kind and practicing plain old good manners, there's likely no need to explain ourselves. People will think what they think, regardless. And that's on them.
Your thoughts here really hit home, my friend. That “Invisible Committee of Other People’s Comfort” phrase is such a fun thing to think about—I love that you’re running with it!
I’ve definitely felt the weight of those platitudes like “Just stay positive” while healing; it often feels like a way to dodge the messy parts we all need to voice. And the grocery store “sorry” instead of “excuse me”? GUILTY as charged. It’s wild how automatic it becomes. You’re so right: preserving our energy for what truly matters, while still holding space for kindness, is such a freeing balance to find. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful reflection 🩵
This! “What if I don't owe strangers a user manual for my basic existence?” So many juicy nuggets to chew on. Thank you for being here and sharing this story.
I love that line too, my friend 🩵 It’s such a freeing idea to let go of explaining ourselves just to make others comfortable. Thank you for holding space for that with me and savoring the messiness of it all. It means a lot that these nuggets landed with you.
Alex, I have a friend whose every other word seems to be "I'm sorry." She and her daughter were visiting us recently and I heard her daughter say "I'm sorry" about something or other that had nothing to do with anything. I said, "Oh no! You inherited that from your mom!" She replied, "Ya I told my mom many times to stop saying that, but she still does it. So if she can, I can too."
It kinda broke my heart. How do we stop these destructive patterns passing on through generations?
I'm glad to hear you're waking up to a healthier way of being... and sharing your stories of that process along the way. Thank you.
Wow, your story really hits home, my friend. It’s incredible how something as small as “I’m sorry” can become this invisible thread weaving through generations, right? I love that moment between that mom and daughter—it’s so real and tender, even if a bit heartbreaking. Breaking those patterns takes time and tons of patience, but just noticing them is such a powerful first step. 🩵
As I kept reading your essay, all I could think about was what my meditation teacher said about the best gift you can give yourself (and others) is the act of discernment. Like, how do we discern between what's worth worrying about, or reacting towards, or spending time managing the energy for a certain task. I make people uncomfortable just by existing, and honestly, I can't justify or explain my existence. So I won.t
Your meditation teacher’s words about discernment really land hard, my friend. It’s such a powerful practice to sift through what truly deserves our energy versus what just clutters our minds. I hear you on feeling like just existing unsettles people. That’s a heavy weight to carry, and it’s okay to not have to explain or justify yourself. Your presence is enough, always. 🩵
I love how you’re so open about needing to relearn this. It’s such a winding path, isn’t it? I need to relearn it often. Taking up space exactly as you are feels revolutionary when the world expects something else. I’m really glad this spoke to you. Keep holding onto that truth, you deserve it 🩵
Alex, I love how you put this into an energy equation. The approach reminds me of the second Don Miguel Ruiz equation, "Don't take anything personally." The way people act is really about them. Maybe that's taking it too far, because life is about relationships. But we don't need to invest all our energy into the casual ones to our detriment. I had a similar experience once, as I was heading toward the line at the bank on a collision course with someone coming from another direction. I didn't handle it as skillfully, but I learned from it.
I love how you connected the energy idea with Don Miguel Ruiz’s wisdom, my friend. That reminder not to take things personally is such a powerful way to protect our energy, especially with those casual encounters that can unexpectedly shake us. Your bank story made me smile. It’s those little moments that teach us so much, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing that insight with such heart 🩵
OMG, Smith's! The only other time I've heard of that grocery store was when Ben and I lived in New Mexico, Alex. The equivalent here in the Midwest is Kroger. :)
Anyway, that was a digression. I wanted to comment on your point about just allowing things to be as they are, without overexplaining or apologizing. That can be really tough for a lot of us, myself included. I think about how most of my life I have done both of these things in order to prevent or correct a misunderstanding that might exist between me and someone else, but as I've gotten older I have noticed that these (overexplaining and apologizing) were actually forms of the "fawn" trauma response. And also--I have a lot of people in my family of origin who are excellent at manipulation tactics: projection, gaslighting, blaming, deflecting, defending, criticizing, judging, rationalizing, etc.
When I'm in the situation you were in with the impatient people waiting for eggs or coffee, I do much as you did--I just let it go. I don't assume I was in the wrong. I try not to assume something negative about their character. The truth is, they don't know what I'm going through, and I don't know what they are going through.
These experiences are also the main reason I do my best when I am in public to not overreact or sigh or complain or do any sort of microaggressions (although I am sure I still sometimes falter in this). I do not want to project my own irritations onto some unassuming, innocent party over some ridiculous and inane situation--like picking out eggs!
There have been several times where others apologize to me if I say "excuse me" politely so that I can maneuver my cart around them. And I simply say, "Oh, you are totally fine!" And smile and move on. It seems like everyone is sitting on a razor's edge these days, thinking that we have to apologize for existing, for taking up space!
I have done this in the checkout lane, because I always have a HUGE cart filled with groceries to feed seven people. Inevitably, the person standing in line behind me either gawks/gapes or scowls and sighs. I notice it, and then I usually sheepishly apologize. That is, until recently. I think someone here on Substack advised me not to. They said I had every right to take up space, and that's true. I still smile when I make eye contact, even and especially with crabby people.
It seems to me that these small gestures of patience and kindness really can make a huge impact.
Hehe... Oh yes, kroger, smiths... yes all the same!
But Wowaza, you really captured so much here, my friend. That whole idea of overexplaining and apologizing as a “fawn” response hit me hard...it’s like we’ve been conditioned to shrink ourselves to keep the peace, especially around those tricky family dynamics you described. I love how you choose kindness in those grocery store moments, even when folks seem impatient or crabby. It’s such a beautiful way to hold space for yourself and others. And yes, owning your space with that big cart? Absolutely! You’ve got every right to fill it up and fill the world with your presence 🩵
You are allowed to take up space!
I don't know why this egg story made me think of this situation, but they are similar.
We are staying with friends in Columbus OH area. When we arrived, they cooked us a fabulous homemade meal, shared a bottle of wine, and showed us to a guest bedroom suite complete with a massage chair. The next morning, we got up early to fresh made lattes, homemade breakfast, and the gave us wifi to work 4hrs in their home office.
Hobbit looked at me this morning and said, "so we just show up, they feed us, give us a bed, let us use those wifi, and even give us chair massages, and then we just leave?"
I told him "yup, this is friendship...they appreciate our presence."
and we would do the same for them.
I had to tell Hobbit that he is allowed to take up space too. sometimes people even like it when we do!
Your story about Hobbit and the kindness of your friends warmed my heart, my friend 🩵. That guest bedroom suite with a massage chair sounds like a little oasis of DELIGHT and care! It’s beautiful how you reminded Hobbit—and all of us—that just being there, taking up space, is enough and actually cherished. Friendship at its finest, filled with those little acts that say “You matter.” Sending you both so much love today (and always).
When i have situations that seem off to me, my rule is thumb is that we never know what someone else is going thru in that moment. They could have lost anything-job, partner/sppuse/child/home , have some one close in the hospital or worse. We have no idea, I usually give a pass. It's a life changing perspective & saves a lot of time in my head for better thoughts💜
I love how you put that. Giving others a pass because we truly have no clue what battles they’re facing is such a kind and freeing way to live. It’s amazing how that simple shift can open up space for more peace in our minds. Your perspective really honors the unseen struggles, and honestly, it’s a reminder we all need to revisit often 🩵 Thanks for sharing your thoughtful approach!
Yes, I agree, it is also a much easier way for me to not get caught up in things that most likely don't even exist💛✨️💫
I also smile when I enter a room, it automatically connects me more to others and I've found that life changing as well💫esp when I was working.
Good for you Alex! My whole life I have been the considerate one, always first to apologize, put myself in other’s shoes. What happened? I was always getting the dirty end of the stick. It took me many, many years to discover I was giving away my existence to everyone else. I am so thrilled you discovered yourself much earlier than I did and you are a great person who deserves to choose the way you want to live your life. I am truly happy for you! I also enjoy reading about your experiences through your personal voice. They interest me and I can envision each experience you relate vividly…. so, thank you Alex! ❤️🌼
Your journey really hits home for me, my friend. Being the one who always apologizes first and carries everyone else’s weight can feel so exhausting, like you’re fading into the background of your own life. It’s powerful that you recognized that and started reclaiming your existence—it’s never too late to choose yourself. I’m so touched that my stories resonate with you and paint a picture you can see so clearly. Thank you for sharing your heart 🩵
You just brilliantly put into words what I’ve been working toward for the last decade—getting comfortable with being *unpopular*. I cringe to think of the time I’ve spent trying to explain myself to people who had no real interest in hearing it. The freedom that comes with caring appropriately about others’ reactions is incredible. I love this post so much!!
Your journey over the last decade is so powerful, my friend. It’s wild how much energy we waste trying to explain ourselves to people who aren’t really listening, isn’t it? Finding that comfort in being unpopular feels like reclaiming a huge piece of yourself. I’m so glad this post spoke to you, and I'm really grateful you shared this with me 🩵 Keep leaning into that freedom!
While I am always in pursuit of kindnesses to share, I do believe there's a limit. I absolutely agree that a strangers reaction to a "perceived" slight, is not your responsibility. Period. The truth is, you could have opened the door, handed her the eggs and done 3 backflips and she probably would have reacted the same way. It probably had nothing whatsoever to do with you, except that you just happened to be getting eggs too. It's too draining and unnecessary to try to regulate everyone, when it's hard enough to regulate ourselves. I smile, I throw out a "have a nice day" sometimes just for effect, but I don't let it affect my day. Recovering People Pleaser, V.
Virg, your honesty about the limits of kindness really hits home. I love how you pointed out that sometimes people’s reactions have nothing to do with us. It is SUCH a freeing thought, ESPECIALLY when we’re trying so hard to be “good” to everyone. And recovering from people-pleasing? That takes real courage, my friend. Keep holding onto that balance; your smile and “have a nice day” vibe sounds just perfect 🩵
Well done! Here here ❣️
And from now on, you can choose to know it’s more fun to be mysterious than explain💞
I love that, my friend. There’s a special kind of magic in holding a little mystery close, isn’t there? Thanks for this playful reminder to savor the fun in not spilling all the secrets. Muahaha. 🩵 right back at you!
This is gold. The letting go of being right, or being thought of in rightness, is a challenge that so many of us should take on. It's taken me a decade and counting, and I still learn little lessons throughout my days, seemingly insignificant moments like this one. Thanks for sharing your lesson so that we all can learn.
Your openness about this ongoing journey truly touches my heart, my friend. Those quiet, “seemingly insignificant” moments often pack the biggest punch in our growth, don’t they? Letting go of the need to be right is such a deep practice. Probably one that really humbles us and expands our compassion. I know it has humbled me... OVER and over. I’m grateful you shared your experience because it reminds me we’re all in this dance together. 🩵
Alex,
This resonated with me so much. You are right: the person who gets offended when no legitimate offense is given has to work on themselves. How that woman in the grocery store wound up angry has everything to do with her and nothing to do with you.
I am at the point in my life where I don't have the energy to placate people. I mean, if ever I were rude, it's one thing. If it's just me being myself, that's another. I love when you say, "Every 'what I meant was...' is a withdrawal from your energy account. Every over-explanation is life force spent on managing someone else's interpretation of your basic human choices."
I use the I-have-only-so-much-energy-in-my-cup metaphor a lot because it's a good metaphor, and I don't have the energy to worry about what others think of me. I used to worry about it, but no more.
Thank you for your wonderfully insightful essay -- as always.
Your words really hit home, my friend. That energy cup metaphor is the golden metaphor of the day! Ittt’s amazing how freeing it is to stop pouring out your life force trying to manage how others see you. And yes, that woman in the grocery store? Her storm wasn’t my weather to carry. I love how you’ve embraced standing in your truth without apologizing for simply being yourself. Thank you for sharing this with me 🩵
Hi Alex,
I wonder why we so often feel the need to apologize when one is not needed. Do we want to error on the safe side, perhaps?
Your egg story reminds me of Cancer Land, and how so many Cancer Havers spend way too much energy trying to make others feel comfortable. The Invisible Committe of Other People's Comfort - that's a good one. I might have to borrow it sometime! For example, "Just stay positive" is something so often heard. I bet you heard it during your recovery, too. Perhaps it really means, or suggests anyway, something like: "It makes me uncomfortable to hear the gory details." It's why the many platitudes often loosely thrown around are not helpful to hear.
I do find myself saying "I'm sorry" when maneuvering my shopping cart at the grocery store instead of a simple, "excuse me". What is up with that apologizing anyway? I'm going to think about this the next time this happens!
I agree whole-heartedly that sometimes it's best to not expend too much energy explaining ourselves. We get to pick and choose who or what we want to expand our energy on. After all, both are precious commodities. Illness or no illness. Of course, this is never permission to be rude or unkind. But it is permission to worry less about justifying ourselves or what we do to others when it's not needed. Bottom line, if we are being kind and practicing plain old good manners, there's likely no need to explain ourselves. People will think what they think, regardless. And that's on them.
Thank you for another excellent read.
Your thoughts here really hit home, my friend. That “Invisible Committee of Other People’s Comfort” phrase is such a fun thing to think about—I love that you’re running with it!
I’ve definitely felt the weight of those platitudes like “Just stay positive” while healing; it often feels like a way to dodge the messy parts we all need to voice. And the grocery store “sorry” instead of “excuse me”? GUILTY as charged. It’s wild how automatic it becomes. You’re so right: preserving our energy for what truly matters, while still holding space for kindness, is such a freeing balance to find. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful reflection 🩵
This! “What if I don't owe strangers a user manual for my basic existence?” So many juicy nuggets to chew on. Thank you for being here and sharing this story.
I love that line too, my friend 🩵 It’s such a freeing idea to let go of explaining ourselves just to make others comfortable. Thank you for holding space for that with me and savoring the messiness of it all. It means a lot that these nuggets landed with you.
Alex, I have a friend whose every other word seems to be "I'm sorry." She and her daughter were visiting us recently and I heard her daughter say "I'm sorry" about something or other that had nothing to do with anything. I said, "Oh no! You inherited that from your mom!" She replied, "Ya I told my mom many times to stop saying that, but she still does it. So if she can, I can too."
It kinda broke my heart. How do we stop these destructive patterns passing on through generations?
I'm glad to hear you're waking up to a healthier way of being... and sharing your stories of that process along the way. Thank you.
Wow, your story really hits home, my friend. It’s incredible how something as small as “I’m sorry” can become this invisible thread weaving through generations, right? I love that moment between that mom and daughter—it’s so real and tender, even if a bit heartbreaking. Breaking those patterns takes time and tons of patience, but just noticing them is such a powerful first step. 🩵
As I kept reading your essay, all I could think about was what my meditation teacher said about the best gift you can give yourself (and others) is the act of discernment. Like, how do we discern between what's worth worrying about, or reacting towards, or spending time managing the energy for a certain task. I make people uncomfortable just by existing, and honestly, I can't justify or explain my existence. So I won.t
Your meditation teacher’s words about discernment really land hard, my friend. It’s such a powerful practice to sift through what truly deserves our energy versus what just clutters our minds. I hear you on feeling like just existing unsettles people. That’s a heavy weight to carry, and it’s okay to not have to explain or justify yourself. Your presence is enough, always. 🩵
"You don't have to apologize for taking up space in ways that make perfect sense but don't match other people's expectations."
So true, and somehow it's a lesson I keep needing to relearn. Thanks for the reminder, I really needed this today.
I love how you’re so open about needing to relearn this. It’s such a winding path, isn’t it? I need to relearn it often. Taking up space exactly as you are feels revolutionary when the world expects something else. I’m really glad this spoke to you. Keep holding onto that truth, you deserve it 🩵
I try to remind myself we shared space, not experience. Next.
Alex, I love how you put this into an energy equation. The approach reminds me of the second Don Miguel Ruiz equation, "Don't take anything personally." The way people act is really about them. Maybe that's taking it too far, because life is about relationships. But we don't need to invest all our energy into the casual ones to our detriment. I had a similar experience once, as I was heading toward the line at the bank on a collision course with someone coming from another direction. I didn't handle it as skillfully, but I learned from it.
I love how you connected the energy idea with Don Miguel Ruiz’s wisdom, my friend. That reminder not to take things personally is such a powerful way to protect our energy, especially with those casual encounters that can unexpectedly shake us. Your bank story made me smile. It’s those little moments that teach us so much, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing that insight with such heart 🩵