This is beautiful, Alex. Especially this part: "Every day we make dozens of tiny choices. Someone asks for help and we either harden or soften. A conversation happens and we either perform or tell the truth. We either reach for the familiar excuse or risk something real.
These aren't grand gestures. Most people won't notice. But they accumulate.
Culture rarely shifts by decree. It shifts by interruptions of our automatic responses."
I needed to read that. Your words strengthen me today.
My kids and I made care kits for the unhoused in our community almost two months ago, and last weekend, we were in the van as a family. When Ben stopped at this busy intersection, I reminded him of the care kit and he rolled down the window and handed it to the man with the cardboard sign. My kids were totally silent, and they didn't speak the rest of the way home. I know they absorbed what happened, because they got to witness the fruits of their actions. They got to SEE the person who benefited from those bags they assembled with such care. That means something.
I think that is what will save me today, because I am feeling very low about myself and my life and my creative work that is going nowhere fast. Thank you for reminding me that even if all I leave behind in my life is some good inside my children that they can then pass on to the world they inherit, then I've done something right. That helps me.
Jeannie, this phrase really got to me today, "because I am feeling very low about myself and my life and my creative work that is going nowhere fast."
It is hard when you are in the thick of parenting young children, advocating for a child with a disability, and not having the earning power you would like to have.
I see this, I feel this, I lived this twenty to forty years ago.
It's challenging. Because what you maybe don't see are outcomes. Not yet.
But you will, my dear... you will.
Your children are receiving such an amazing gift from who you are in the world.❤️
You touched on something I struggle with whenever I’m in the city. As a woman, I don’t feel safe when strangers approach me. My husband came up with a solution. For those who ask for help on the streets-I carry gift cards to Dunkin Donuts. This way it’s a quick exchange for someone like me whose nervous system kicks up in these circumstances.
Thank you for being so kind to the milkshake loving man and for showing us it’s worthwhile to break out of our automatic patterns.
I'm with you on the bacon...it's gotta be crispy. And lettuce on burgers is always lifeless and flimsy and slippery.
Every Saturday, as I drive home from dog training class, I pass the same woman on the same corner with the same sign. She just holds the sign and stares lifelessly off into the distance. I've tried smiling at her. One time I even tried giving her money but she didn't even notice me. She looked like a living ghost. My heart hurts every time I see her.
This week, across the intersection was a man. He had a similar cardboard sign, but the opposite face. He was angry. Ranting and raving. Pumping the air with his fist. Face red and voice brash. I was scared he was going to attack my car as I waited at the red light.
all the while, the woman stared lifelessly, as if he wasn't there at all. as if nothing was there, not even her.
I never know what to do when I come to this intersection, especially since there was that one time I tried to give her money and she didn't notice me.
what I do know is that the empathy I feel reminds me of how alive my own life really is.
Lot of fear, vulnerability...potential hurt might be dressed up as homeless person, asking for compassion. Taking advantage. Rather being too careful and unfair, than being hurt. Unfortunately😔. Thank you for the share, thought- and heart provoking❤️🫶🏼
Alex, my heart is renewed by this story. Crispy bacon and a lady bug in confirmation. We have many homeless in Chicago. When I have it, I share cash but what you described created a little human relationship.
Alex - What sticks out for me is how you frame the “almost” moments, the little gaps where we either default to disconnection or let something else happen. The way you tie the encounter with the man, the laughter over bacon, and even the ladybug together into one thread of aliveness makes it clear that these aren’t small things at all. They’re the places where culture and personal meaning come together.
Your line about “the world we’re walking through is the world we’re creating” stands out as it names what most of us feel but don’t always slow down to notice.
This is beautiful, Alex. Especially this part: "Every day we make dozens of tiny choices. Someone asks for help and we either harden or soften. A conversation happens and we either perform or tell the truth. We either reach for the familiar excuse or risk something real.
These aren't grand gestures. Most people won't notice. But they accumulate.
Culture rarely shifts by decree. It shifts by interruptions of our automatic responses."
I needed to read that. Your words strengthen me today.
My kids and I made care kits for the unhoused in our community almost two months ago, and last weekend, we were in the van as a family. When Ben stopped at this busy intersection, I reminded him of the care kit and he rolled down the window and handed it to the man with the cardboard sign. My kids were totally silent, and they didn't speak the rest of the way home. I know they absorbed what happened, because they got to witness the fruits of their actions. They got to SEE the person who benefited from those bags they assembled with such care. That means something.
I think that is what will save me today, because I am feeling very low about myself and my life and my creative work that is going nowhere fast. Thank you for reminding me that even if all I leave behind in my life is some good inside my children that they can then pass on to the world they inherit, then I've done something right. That helps me.
Jeannie, this phrase really got to me today, "because I am feeling very low about myself and my life and my creative work that is going nowhere fast."
It is hard when you are in the thick of parenting young children, advocating for a child with a disability, and not having the earning power you would like to have.
I see this, I feel this, I lived this twenty to forty years ago.
It's challenging. Because what you maybe don't see are outcomes. Not yet.
But you will, my dear... you will.
Your children are receiving such an amazing gift from who you are in the world.❤️
Alex, this is an excellent approach to that age old dilemma about how to reach out in a positive way to those in need.
You touched on something I struggle with whenever I’m in the city. As a woman, I don’t feel safe when strangers approach me. My husband came up with a solution. For those who ask for help on the streets-I carry gift cards to Dunkin Donuts. This way it’s a quick exchange for someone like me whose nervous system kicks up in these circumstances.
Thank you for being so kind to the milkshake loving man and for showing us it’s worthwhile to break out of our automatic patterns.
Thank you, Alex, for this simple reminder. In every moment, we have choices. ❤️
I'm with you on the bacon...it's gotta be crispy. And lettuce on burgers is always lifeless and flimsy and slippery.
Every Saturday, as I drive home from dog training class, I pass the same woman on the same corner with the same sign. She just holds the sign and stares lifelessly off into the distance. I've tried smiling at her. One time I even tried giving her money but she didn't even notice me. She looked like a living ghost. My heart hurts every time I see her.
This week, across the intersection was a man. He had a similar cardboard sign, but the opposite face. He was angry. Ranting and raving. Pumping the air with his fist. Face red and voice brash. I was scared he was going to attack my car as I waited at the red light.
all the while, the woman stared lifelessly, as if he wasn't there at all. as if nothing was there, not even her.
I never know what to do when I come to this intersection, especially since there was that one time I tried to give her money and she didn't notice me.
what I do know is that the empathy I feel reminds me of how alive my own life really is.
Lot of fear, vulnerability...potential hurt might be dressed up as homeless person, asking for compassion. Taking advantage. Rather being too careful and unfair, than being hurt. Unfortunately😔. Thank you for the share, thought- and heart provoking❤️🫶🏼
Alex, my heart is renewed by this story. Crispy bacon and a lady bug in confirmation. We have many homeless in Chicago. When I have it, I share cash but what you described created a little human relationship.
Alex - What sticks out for me is how you frame the “almost” moments, the little gaps where we either default to disconnection or let something else happen. The way you tie the encounter with the man, the laughter over bacon, and even the ladybug together into one thread of aliveness makes it clear that these aren’t small things at all. They’re the places where culture and personal meaning come together.
Your line about “the world we’re walking through is the world we’re creating” stands out as it names what most of us feel but don’t always slow down to notice.