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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Gah, this prompt/Koan is taking me in all sorts of directions.

First, doors...I need to simply focus on that metaphor alone for a while. The opening and closing of doors, dreams I've had about doors, what "doors" I am desperate to open for my creative writing, etc.

Then, the knocking and locking: What is pulling me toward crossing a new threshold and what is keeping me away? What are my hopes and what are my fears? Do I believe in knocking as invitation, as possibility? Or so I think safety by locking doors and keeping my fears out is a better option?

Then, the visitor: Almost like a shadow or specter, the visitor could be anyone or anything. It's an archetype, much like the door. Who, or what, is beckoning me, and toward what pathway? Is the visitor some type of spiritual companion for me, a divine intelligence guiding me? Am I a visitor to others, accompanying them on their own pathways and encouraging them? If this is a visitor, it means they are a guest. They do not take permanent residence in my life. How will I treat the visitor--as a threat or as a pilgrim?

AND THESE ARE JUST MY FIRST SPONTANEOUS THOUGHTS, ALEX! Thank you!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Hi Jeannie!

Thanks for sharing your first spontaneous thoughts! I love where this contemplation has taken you. 🩵

"Do I believe in knocking as invitation, as possibility? Or so I think safety by locking doors and keeping my fears out is a better option?"

This really sticks out to me right now. I may leverage this tomorrow as I dive into this contemplation further! I find it to be a very compelling and interesting set of questions. It dovetails nicely with where I have often framed resistance for me - a signal.

Thank you for jumping into this brand new series so fearlessly! 🩵 I'm so grateful.

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Kathy Napoli's avatar

So glad you have found a different way to follow your path. You always inspire me with interesting concepts that give me food for thought. Resistance brings so many different ideas to me. First came political and I quickly pushed that away since I have no desire to build up more anxiety than what I face daily. The second thought of resistance was about my daily pain, however I find the more I try to resist it the severity of it increases so I meditate as much as possible to lessen what I feel. Negative thoughts are more prevalent in my dreams than in my conscious state so I struggle through most dreams running away from the fearful scary scenarios while dreaming. My final resistance, at least in these moments of contemplation, is to personal anger that arises in me when things I want to get done, don’t get done unless I do them, but my problem is I physically cannot do them. So I’ve lost my independence which angers me. I resist complaining about it as much and as often as I can. I made an appointment for an orthopedic specialist consultation in March but now I find myself resisting the urge to cancel it. I’ve been to so many doctors and gone through so many tests since 2012 and the answers have always been disappointing. My internal argument is hope vs disappointment. So I place these thoughts in limbo. Procrastinating until a definitive solution becomes clear rather than resisting the urge to cancel. And there you have it in a Nutshell about my take on the resistance prompt. Thank you for sharing this and I look forward to the future prompts from you. ❤️🌼

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you for such a vulnerable and honest response 🩵

Isn't it so interesting what comes up for us as we consider the role of resistance in our life? What do we do? What do we not do? How do we hold ourselves back? How do we move ourselves forward?

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

Resistance is such a fabulous concept. In fact, the word challenges me to be unable to find it within myself.

I try on the word resist like an ugly too tight pea green coat that smells of moth balls from the bottom of grannie’s blanket chest. It’s ugly. It’s rigid. And durn it, just too tight for me to be comfortable.

I like to imagine myself in more of a martial arts move, using the energy coming at me to pivot and allow that energy to fall flat on its face instead. I use this example in counseling when my clients are stiff and resistant to what change their world is demanding. I ask them to hold their hands up, palms facing me as I sit across from them. Then (after explaining what I’m going to do) I lean towards them with my hands, asking them to resist. What happens when they resist my palms pushing against theirs is that they fall backwards, and I remain straight upright. Resisting flattens them, not me.

I then offer a different choice. Instead of resisting, I ask them to move their hands to their side as soon as my palms touch theirs. Ahah! A whole different outcome. My momentum causes me to fall forward on my face and they stay upright.

It’s a using the energy that is coming towards you to be your strength to not take it on.

Make sense?

So perhaps I’m parsing words here, but I prefer determination and moving like Neo in the Matrix (as he sways to avoid the bullets) instead of pushing forward with resistance.

There are better ways to achieve the goal.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Ah, I really love that exercise - I think that is so fun, and I bet that it is really effective with clients. Thank you for sharing that here - it is something for me to think about as I continue this practice of contemplation over the next week! There is a fluidity that you reference that I love. Almost like water! The surface can be tight with friction when met with the same exact energy, but so fluid when we simply pass through.

I wonder - do you have any additional insights to share as you think about this section?

Resistance is the gate to yourself.

Who stands at the threshold—

the one who knocks, or the one who locks the door?

If you open the door, does the visitor vanish—

or do you find you were the visitor all along?

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

Thank you for considering my thoughts. And yes, I too love the water metaphor. Water, tho soft and flowing, always wins. With its persistent gentleness, it moves everything in its path.

Regarding your thought about standing at the threshold, I believe there is no door. I am all of the thoughts, flowing along the pathway, I encounter bends in the river and allow these sharp turns because I know, over time, the river of my life will soften that sharp bend into a smooth gentle arc.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Ah, how interesting! I love that. Thank you for sharing - I think what I appreciate most about substack is how thoughtful people are. I learn so much from everyone's perspective and point of view!

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Nancy A's avatar

Oooh, this is great, Alex! I'm excited to give this a lot of thought and exploration.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, Nancy! After you do, feel free to return here and share what you discover 🩵

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Ilona Goanos's avatar

Looking forward to new ways of thinking!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, Ilona! We will see if I can figure out a fun way for this series to make it off the ground! I think the important thing is that I personally enjoyed the process. 🩵

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JT's avatar

Looking forward!

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SuddenlyJamie's avatar

What an interesting practice, and I love the prompt. I will come back to this when I have time to sit with notebook and pen. Thank you!

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JT's avatar

I hope you'll share. I'm so dog-gone concrete, these things are always a struggle.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Hey JT - I completely understand. I started this practice because my brain would struggle, too.

Ultimately, there is no wrong or right answer because there is no “answer,” per se. Your brain could be a little like mine. At first, it resists this exercise because it sees no way forward—the paradox becomes too freaky for it.

As I practiced, I found it so freeing to learn how to release the expectation that there was an answer. Then, I stopped feeling like I was constantly hitting a wall and could see new perspectives.

Next month, what can I share that would help you explore this differently? I bet you are less “dog-gone concrete” than you think :)

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JT's avatar

Thank you, Alexander! Gosh, I have no idea as to how to answer your question. But the original non-koan about resistance has stayed with me, surfacing several times daily then worming its way deeper. Letting it do its work.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Well then, let’s let it do it’s work. I’m right there with you. Feel free to reach out 🩵

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